I Chose a Dandelion Over a Rose.

Follow my sweet baby rae http://umiagna.tumblr.com/
_________________I make music. I make art sometimes.
I make mistakes. I make friends. I make regrets. I make best friends I can't let go of.
I make memories. I make food. I make people wonder what is wrong with me. I make people miss me. I make people wish they've never met me. I make wishes. I make reality come true.

Help. I’m Ruined.

My name is Chris Serrano. I’ve met umiagna around 1 and a half years ago. 
And today she left me. I’m using her account to post about how horrible I truly am. How I’m worthless. I met Rae around October and I was still stuck on another girl who I have been friends with for 3 years.

Eventually me and umiagna became really close up until one day someone asked me if she was my girlfriend. I said yes. I have fallen in love with umiagna. While still stuck on the other girl. I loved her so much. She was perfect for me. But I betrayed her because I still secretly talk the girl I was stuck on for 7 months into the relationship. Eventually I learned to let go and forget her. I hurt umiagna so much because even then I still wrote a letter about how much I wish I was still with her. Friendship wise. No matter how I meant it. It hurt Rae. 

Throughout all of that I also watched porn when she didn’t want me to. I used to like it back then. But I don’t find anything attractive to it after a while in the relationship. I would never get off from it or do anything. I would watch from boredom. Rae didn’t still like that and she knew that I’d never change so she at least tell her when I watched it. I tried to at times. But I’d just keep it to myself because I was stupid. I would lie to her and call her all these names. They were empty but still insults. I hurt her so much from her not believing me. I would hit her and tell her all these things that would hurt her like, I never loved you or you fat bitch or something. I never learned. Today in the beach I had screenshots of porn and I didn’t know about them. I wanted to be honest. I thought I was. I hurt her the.most because when she told me to tell her, I never did. She would always catch me. The point of this entry is that I want help. I want to do anything to have Rae back. She’s been wanting to leave for So long and even tried to get me away from her. She hated me for what I did.

Porn ruined my love life. If you’re a guy reading this, please never lie about it. Always admit it because your girlfriend Will be not as mad.
I truly want any help because i just love Rae so much. I want to do anything I can to be with her. I’d show her the rest of whatever I used to have in hopes that there’s no secrets anymore or anything hidden. 
I can’t even look at porn the same anymore.I truly hate it. It’s turned me into this and made ME lose Rae. I truly hate porn. I can’t look at anything the way I did. Not the idea of porn or the women. Anything. There’s no more I can do. I want help. I really do. I want anything so I can just be with my baby Rae

C.S. Lewis (via aestheticgoddess)

(via cityofrachels)

Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it.
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